He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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