i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
