Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
