quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
