No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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