Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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