I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
