I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
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