did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
