she smelled like a LAN party
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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