We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
