yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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