I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
