i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
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