i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Randomize
