right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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