I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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