She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
