im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
