if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
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