Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
