Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I would ride that face into the sunset
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize
