I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
