i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
My balls are so social today.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
