Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Randomize
