Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Do you have feelings for this penis?
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
