Ambien. No doubt about it.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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