I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
