I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
You're like the curious george of whores
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
