tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
