Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
