so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
