dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Randomize
