if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
i drank out of a bidet.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
