she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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