I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Randomize
