I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
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