Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Randomize
