he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
