then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
