HIV tests are more positive than that guy
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Randomize
