Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
