I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I'm too high and old for this...
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
