there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
