I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I think my moral compass just broke
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
