can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
