I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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