I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Randomize
