Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Randomize
