Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Is Oprah even human
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
