I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
a search helicopter?!
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
