shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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