Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Randomize
