Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
