I hope mine doesn't look like that
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Randomize
