I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
