i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
