There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Randomize
